The sight of a harried parent driving a car full of screaming, yelling, bickering children is enough to elicit pity in even the hardest-hearted of us. Yes, it’s a cliche, but if you’ve had kids in your car, you’ll know how even the simplest journey can turn into a rabble. And how longer trips can quickly go from being an idyllic chance to get away for a day out or a family holiday, to the sort of journey you never speak of again.
In a CarGurus UK survey of 2,000 parents, 47% of respondents agreed with the statement ‘I find my children regularly distract me when driving.’ Perhaps the best way to deal with these distractions is to keep your kids happy and entertained. With the right preparations and some strategies for helping children young and old to deal with car journeys, those trips don’t have to be a drag. They can even be pretty good fun.
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We spoke to Rebecca Ashton, Head of Policy and Research at IAM RoadSmart – one of Britain’s leading road safety charities. She’s been kind enough to share with us some of her advice for keeping children safe and happy in the car – and preventing you, the driver, from getting distracted along the way.
Dress Your Child in Comfortable Clothing
The first thing Rebecca tells us might sound counter-intuitive, but it’s one of the easiest and common mistakes parents can make. “Take all the big winter overcoats off before you put your child in the car seat.
“The main reason is safety. You’d be surprised just how loose the straps are even though they feel quite tight when they’ve got all the gubbins on. Try it yourself with your own child – set the straps with their coat on, then take them out, take their coat off, and put them back in. You’ll be horrified to see how loose the straps are.
“The second reason is that you tend to get in a car without a coat and you make the temperature right for you. That means the child in the back in their coat gets very hot, and when they get hot, they get grumpy, which is going to cause you all sorts of stress and distraction at the wheel.”
Rebecca also points out that dressing your child in adequate clothing for the drive, and possibly even for what’s at the other end, will help keep them comfortable.
“Children don’t necessarily have to wear shoes in the car, for example, especially if they’re more comfortable without,” she says. “And if you’re travelling at night, you might want to dress your child in their pyjamas, not only so that they’re more comfortable and more likely to fall asleep, but also so that you can scoop them out and put them to bed without having to change them at the other end.”
Bring Along Food and Drink – But Be Picky
Any parent knows that one of the most likely reasons for a child to kick up a fuss is hunger or thirst. With that in mind, it pays to be prepared. Even here, though, there are some important points to keep in mind.
“As far as snacks are concerned, you certainly don’t want a choking situation. And you don’t want anything too sugary – we all know what too much sugar can do for a child,” says Rebecca.
“You should also consider what effect loose food and drink containers can have if they’re flying around a car in a crash.
“For example, with older children you can tell them that they can have their drink, and they can put it in the back of the seat in front of them if they’re not using it. Younger children, not quite so much.
“If I tell you that even a plain box of tissues on the parcel shelf, in the event of a 30-40mph crash, can turn into something with the weight of a brick going through the car, you can imagine the sort of damage something like a sippy cup could do.”
Think About Which Toys to Take
This sort of safety concern outlined above is one reason why Rebecca advises parents to think carefully about what sorts of toys to take to entertain their children.
“One of the best ways to stop children from distracting you when you’re behind the wheel is to give them things to play with. You have to make sure they’re things they want to play with, of course, but make sure you also think of what happens to those toys in an accident.
“You can get certain toys that will attach the to the child seat, but it needs to be something they can reach and play with but not something that can injure them. You must be careful with the tethering, especially with a baby, because you don’t want them to get it round their neck.
“As an alternative for babies, you can use those cloth books, and soft toys that aren’t going to do any harm if they are flung around in a crash.”
For Younger Kids, Plan Activities; For Older Kids, Think Accessories
There are always games you can play and ways of passing the time on longer journeys that don’t rely on physical toys, though.
“A good way to manage your children’s expectations and create an activity for them is to involve them in the journey. Tell your children how long the trip will be, and also tell them the places you’re going to on the way, so they can almost tick it off on a list.
“If you’re on a motorway you can tell them what junction you’re leaving at so that they can count down the numbers. You could get them to count caravans, count cars of certain colours, count the buses, count the lorries; you can look out for certain things – the first one to spot a yellow car, for example.
“If you’ve got older children travelling in the car with youngsters, they can help to look after them. It’s not always popular, but it can be a great way for them to earn some pocket money!”
One of the best ways to keep children entertained, says Rebecca, is a phone or a tablet, preferably mounted in a seat-back holder to keep it secure.
“If you can get younger kids to watch something on a headrest-mounted tablet, that will distract them nicely,” she says. “But your teenagers, you’re not going to stop them from using their phones.
“You’re going to want to make sure they have a long charger lead in the car and somewhere to plug it in, too. And you’re also going to want to make sure they have plenty of data.”
Plan Your Longer Journeys – and Leave Prepared
It sounds like common sense, but planning for a long trip involves more than simply finding the postcode of your destination and punching it into a satnav.
“Always have nappies, wipes, tissues – hand sanitizer in this day and age – things like that to hand,” says Rebecca. “You can even keep spares in the car. The more you prepare, the better your journey and experience is going to be. If you put your children in the car without anything you’re going to have a pretty miserable time, but if you’ve prepared, you’re going to have a better journey.
“Plan your breaks, too. If you’re travelling on your own you might just want to get there as fast as you can, but with children you have to consider how you’re going to break that journey a bit.
“We recommend driving no more than two hours or 100 miles at a time, whichever comes soonest, and for the driver to have a break after that period. That goes for children, too.
“And if it’s a little one, don’t forget to take them out of the car seat. If you unhitch the seat from the car and take it out for your break, and then put the car seat back in when you’ve finished, that child hasn’t actually had a break from the car seat.
“So get out, maybe move them around a bit, and if you’ve got a toddler, let them have a bit of a walk. And for older children, motorway service stations are never really that much fun, but there are certain websites you can go to that will give you alternatives just off the motorway that are much more interesting.
“Don’t forget to share the driving if there are two of you, too. It might be tempting to let one person look after the children, but swapping around can keep you alert – and it gives the other person a break, too.
“Try to swap after a break, though – think about your mental health. Getting behind the wheel when you’re uptight isn’t great for your wellbeing and could make you drive more aggressively.”
Driving Your Child for the First Time
Carrying your child in a car for the first time can be daunting – in our CarGurus survey of 2,000 parents, 60% of respondents said they were nervous when driving their child for the first time. For many new parents, their first drive with a child will be on the way home from hospital, so having a child seat that’s suitable for carrying a newborn is imperative – don’t forget to check out our guide to choosing a car seat for help with that.
Given newborn babies can’t support their own weight or the weight of their head, getting your baby supported correctly in the seat so that they can cope with the forces of acceleration, braking and turning is vital.
Rebecca’s advice about making sure there’s no excess clothing is therefore especially important here – make sure your baby isn’t swaddled when they’re strapped in, and apply blankets over, rather than under, the harness.
You should also read the manual for your car seat first, so that you know exactly how to adjust it to support your baby’s head correctly. They’ll need to be reclined, so that their head doesn’t loll forward, and with adequate lateral support to stop them slumping or rolling around.
Finally, before you leave, double check that the car seat is fixed in properly. You’ll get used to how it works soon enough, but the first time round it’ll be easy to get it wrong – there’s no harm in double-checking.